I am at the moment, a stay at home wife. I have been spending a lot of time writing and sleeping. A few days before my sister gave birth, I went to my parents' house in Antipolo and stayed for two days because Jeff went to Subic for work. I was sitting on our couch and channel surfing when I came across an interesting show, Face to Face.
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| Photo from Face to Face's Facebook page. |
Face to Face airs on TV5 everyday at 4:30PM, or that what their Facebook page says. So the show is something like The Jerry Springer Show, a talk show in the US where two (or more) people would argue on TV. So here's the story on that particular day's episode.
The first guest was a woman (let's call her sister-in-law or SIL because I can't remember her name). She said that the WIFE of her older brother who was in Kuwait was not taking care of her nephews and nieces, and that she was a gambler. She also said that her brother's wife had an affair with another man and that they had a child. Too complicated! So the WIFE was called in and they tried to hurt each other, but of course, the bouncers were there to split them. Too scripted. Amy Perez, the show's host asked the WIFE if the SIL's allegations were true. She said yes. The HUSBAND was called in and the show cuts to commercials. After the break, it was told that the HUSBAND came back from Kuwait and found out that his two kids are now three! HUSBAND threw the WIFE out of the house while the three kids remain with him -- even the last child who was the fruit of the WIFE's unfaithfulness. Upon watching, I realized that the HUSBAND still loves the wife too much but he just couldn't forgive her and take her back.
The next day, I found myself channel surfing again and came across the same kind of show, this time from GMA News TV.
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| Photo from Personalan's Facebook page. |
So this show has the same pattern, calling two people who would like to argue on TV. So the first person called was Joey. He is married to Lynette and the couple has one kid. Joey said that he has a secret to tell to Lynette. Lynette was interviewed and all she said were great things about Joey -- he was her Mr. Right. Joey works as a barber in a barber shop where he met Alvin. They exchanged numbers, talked, and it was later revealed that they started a relationship ala My Husband's Lover. Everything was working fine with Joey and Alvin -- Joey goes to work and manages his relationships with Lynette and Alvin while juggling all the chores at home -- until a neighbor saw him and Alvin in the barber shop. So before the neighbor could tell Lynette, he did it ON TV. My goodness! Lynette walked out and cried buckets backstage. By the end of the show, furious Lynette forgives Joey but swears that if she ever sees Alvin again, she will leave him. Again, it was very obvious that despite the whole My-Husband's-Lover drama, Lynette forgave Joey.
Now my question is, WHY DO THESE PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO TAKE THEIR ISSUES ON NATIONAL TV?!? I mean, yeah, these are big problems, but why do they need an audience to solve their problem?
Jeff and I fight at times. We used to argue a lot before the wedding, and after the wedding. This is the stage of the marriage when we argue about small things because we are adjusting to living with each other. Arguing is not bad. For me, it is a good thing because we learn a lot about our partners. We realize that they don't want us pinching their nose, or that they don't eat okra. We learn about their pet peeves. Most of all, we learn to be humble and apologize because at the end of the day, we are married to them and nothing can change that.
Jeff and I have one rule about arguing -- NO ARGUING IN PUBLIC. Why? Because couples are not supposed to make a scene and put their fights out to be seen by the public, or by their families and friends. No, we don't pose as if we are a perfect couple. We are not, and we'll never be. But I do believe that couple fights don't need an audience. Problems should be fixed inside your homes, and in our case, inside our bedroom. When I was young, our neighbors would fight as if they were killing each other but the next morning, they were all PDA outside their house. At an early age, I thought that was very stupid. If you love the person, why would you yell at him and tell him that you would kill him?
I grew up in a home where I thought that my parents didn't fight at all. I swear! I never heard my parents yell at each other. It was just a little before my wedding when my Mama was giving me advice on how to handle arguments that she told me their secret -- they fight but they don't yell. That moment, I wanted to have a monument done for my parents. I've never heard of a couple who never yelled at each other. She told me that if she is upset about something that my Papa did, she keeps quiet until Papa notices that she isn't her usual talkative self. They talk about it and they say sorry.
I can't do what my Mama does. I nag a lot when I am angry, and then after I've said everything I wanted to say, I keep quiet. And then after a while, I'd talk to Jeff. My husband on the other hand would bug me on my quiet time and says sorry over and over again. I mean, I don't appreciate all the bugging because I talk to him when I'm ready. Lately, he's become cooperative and gives me time to think.
How about you? How do you handle couple fights?
“Be angry, and do not sin”:[a] do not let the sun go down on your wrath, - Ephesians 4:26
